I stood in front of my closet the other morning trying to match a pair of black pants to a…black t-shirt. Waking up thinking it was Thursday, only to unfortunately realize that it was actually Wednesday, forced me to embrace my inner emo bitch. I kept pulling out black pants and black t-shirts. Nothing matched exactly…How can black have more than one shade…of black?!? I rolled the question around in my mind and settled on this conclusion: black has many shades because when you nestle one shade against another, it brings out a whole new hue. Who knew?
People and experiences can bring out whole new hues in us, too—the good and the bad, the ying and the yang. Some people can just piss us off with a look and some can make us feel comfortable in our own skin (with just their presence) in ways we could have never imagined. Some partners can bring out our delicate side, our submissive side, or our naughty side. Life is short and can be full of hardships and heartaches; be willing to expand your palette and explore all your colors. I have readers who write to me and ask about relationships, and one of the themes is always sex—(shocker, right?!?). I’m not a counselor, but I’ve learned a few things in my forty-plus passes around the sun. In my debut erotic novel, Just Call Me Confidence, the protagonist Jenna eventually learns to say “fuck it” and grows herself exponentially into the person she wants to be. I’m not advocating a lack of reflection, but sometimes…overthinking leads to indecision, which is 100 percent guaranteed to yield no growth. So, let those freaky flags fly all your colors and consider a little love advice from yours truly:
No matter the hue you choose, be it 50 shades of freak or anything in between remember this: The people who pass through our lives always have something to show us about ourselves. So, tickle yourself (or your partner) pink, or color me bad, but whatever you do, unapologetically be the many shades of you.
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STELLA GRAEAuthor of the novel Just Call Me Confidence from The Wild Rose Press. Archives
June 2023
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